Ask a partner about his or her preferences

Me: Hey, have you decided what you want to do for your birthday?

Partner: Not really, I'm not sure yet.

Me: Well, I made a list of options. Would you rather have a big party or a small party?

Partner: Hmm, I think I'd rather have a small party with just a few close friends.

Me: Okay, got it. How about dinner? Would you rather eat at home or go out to a restaurant?

Partner: I'd rather go out to a restaurant. It's a special occasion, so it would be nice to have a fancy dinner.

Me: Good point. And what about who to invite? Would you rather invite lots of people or just a few close friends?

Partner: I think I'd rather keep it small and just invite a few close friends.

Me: Sounds good. What about gifts? Would you rather get flowers or presents?

Partner: Definitely presents. Flowers are nice, but I'd rather have something I can keep and use.

Me: Makes sense. And lastly, what would you rather wear on your birthday? Nice clothes or just jeans and a T-shirt?

Partner: I'd rather wear something nice, like a dress or a suit. It's a special day, so why not dress up a bit?

Me: I totally agree. It sounds like we've got a plan for your birthday then.